Smiley faces were the order of the day among Canadian and U.S. delegates when Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau flew to Washington D.C. on Monday to visit President Donald Trump. However, insiders claim that behind closed doors, the meeting was a different story.
According to one source, who used a CIA-approved listening device consisting of holding the top of an ordinary drinking glass against the door, Trudeau was apparently on the defensive during most of the meeting. Trump apparently launched into a tirade, accusing Trudeau of a being a fake politician.
“How can I take you seriously when Canada’s not a real country!” he allegedly bellowed. When asked by Trudeau where he got his information about Canada, Trump stated he was briefed by adviser Kellyanne Conway, who researched the country by watching a South Park movie and provided the President a capsule description of the “Blame Canada” scene in particular.
Trump also was unable to find Canada on a map when examining a document outlining the physical path of the Keystone XL pipeline, forcing Trudeau to grab one of the President’s crayons to label the country and even adding a twinkly star on Edmonton, the northern tip of the project.
While Trudeau seemed satisfied with being able to placate Trump over his misinformation, his aides seemed concerned that the Prime Minister was stammering and stuttering more than usual at the podium. One aide said that before speaking to the media, Trudeau’s face turned ashen white when he was pulled aside by White House henchman Steve Bannon.
“Bannon whispered something gruffly in Trudeau’s ear,” said the aide. “Something like, ‘Nice country you have there, Justin. Too bad if anything were to happen to it.'”