It’s not taking long for the Trudeau government to get cracking on its plans to turn the idyllic municipality of Vegreville into a ghost town.

Mere weeks after scrambling the well-being of the town’s citizens by serving notice that the Case Processing Centre office would move to Edmonton, resulting in more than 300 jobs lost, the feds announced it will also move Vegreville’s cherished Pysanka egg to the Alberta capital.

Vegreville Mayor Myron Hayduk is hardly showing a sunny-side-up disposition to the news, calling the Prime Minister’s actions “a typical case of poaching the rural west,” as well as a number of comments unprintable here.

“We think it’s best that we move the egg to Edmonton, where Ukrainians will appreciate it more,” said a spokesperson from the Prime Minister’s office. “Edmonton has nearly 100,000 Ukrainians living there. And the entire town of Vegreville doesn’t even have 6,000 residents. Come on, do the math everyone, this move makes sense.”

Details are sketchy about where in Edmonton the egg will be relocated. Leaked memos from the Prime Minister’s office suggest that it will be installed in the backyard of Wilmer Zacharko, the only person to ever vote Liberal in the riding of Edmonton Manning. The memo also suggested that Zacharko’s place will be ground zero in the Liberals’ plans to steal the riding from the Conservatives in time for the next federal election in 2019.

Hayduk commented that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will wind up with egg on his face if the move goes forward. Vegreville Towing has been put on standby alert in retaliation, while camps of industrious babas are creating their own pysankas with images of Trudeau on the eggshells. The hope is to use them as projectiles should the Prime Minister visit the town.

“Take all the time you need, Justin,” warned Hayduk. “The longer you wait, the more rotten those eggs will get!”

 

 

 

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