The Edmonton Transit System will implement a solution to long waiting times for buses and LRT trains while still maintaining its reputation as the worst public transportation service on the planet.

Starting later in 2017, all bus shelters in the city will be replaced by bouncy tents, long recognized as a favourite attraction at children’s parties and the occasional BDSM bash.

The plan is designed to ward off a backlash from passengers who have been waiting at stops since the Christmas break for buses that are supposed to whisk them from the suburbs to downtown. Larger bouncy castles will be added to platforms on LRT stops, particularly on the sluggish Metroline, a branch of the system has witnessed a myriad of passenger deaths from starvation and exposure to the elements.

“It’s an idea that makes sense,” said a city worker at the City of Edmonton’s Department of Transportation.

“These tents offer a chance for potential passengers to keep warm by bouncing up and down in the tents, which we’ll reinforce with durable plastic that can withstand punctures from stiletto heels and snow boots with heavy tread. They’ll not only get some exercise, but can work out their frustrations waiting for a bus that may not arrive for weeks.”

City Council has yet to determine where the money for the tents will come from, although it’s been suggested that they abandon the pothole removal program to encourage frustrated drivers to take public transit more often.

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