Honest, hard-working Albertans weren’t the only ones angry over the imbecile remarks made by Deputy Premier Sarah Hoffman, who accused the Wildrose Party opposition of hanging out with sewer rats. A contingent of raging rodents has also taken issue with the comments she made Monday in the Alberta Legislature.
The collective, Rodents Against Totalitarian Socialism (RATS), plans to sue the Alberta NDP government over those slanderous remarks, seeking compensation that includes a million dumpsters of edible garbage. The organization is also pursuing criminal charges of genocide against the province, which has been rat-free since the 1950s.
“We are noble creatures, and for these humans to ridicule us because we support a right-wing opposition in Alberta is not only insulting, but infuriating, considering the ongoing slaughter of our brothers and sisters,” said a RATS spokes-rodent from an undisclosed location.
“Sure, we are responsible for destroying crops and spreading disease, but let’s face it, we are the perfect Darwinian metaphor for enabling the strongest to survive. And that transfers well into libertarian logic as well as alt-right philosophy. If those pinkos in Alberta can’t stomach that notion, well, we’ll see those sissies in court!”
A Public Affairs Bureau flack said the NDP is not taking the legal threat seriously.
“If the Wildrose is letting real-life rats do its bidding for them, it only speaks to the shoe-size IQ of its following,” the flack arrogantly responded. “The NDP is in power now and we’ll continue to spread our intellectually-superior socialist ideology to the provincial masses. The fact that most Albertans are bottom feeding idiots means it’s only a matter of time before they accept what we shove down their throat.”
A comment from Hoffman about the lawsuit was less cordial.
Said the minister, “I don’t give a rat’s ass about anything they say!”