The soul patch, that annoying tuft of hair which has been a facial fixture among even more annoying hipsters from jazz beatniks to millennial hippies, is making a comeback, but with a new twist.

An Edmonton-based stylist is taking the soul patch to a higher level (roughly one or two inches higher, give or take) by relocating the bucolic bush from the chin area to just below the nose.

“It’s a symbol of the disenfranchised masses and an organic uniform for those who want their lives back,” says David Dumbasselhoff, a stylist at Biff’s Barber and Bike Repair in northeast Edmonton. “I think of it as the ultimate emblem of defiance and reactionary empowerment. Plus, it looks really cool!”

Dumbasselhoff says that evangelical Christians and provincial alt-right political parties have given the new facial fashion a thumbs-up treatment, but admits that various ethnic groups and non-Christians have not yet warmed up to what he hopes will be a new trend.

Some Jewish groups have been reportedly suspicious of the revised soul patch. Commented one rabbi, “Hey, wait a minute! That looks familiar!”

 

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