The Edmonton Safety Council is up in arms, among other appendages, over a bumper sticker that’s spiked a series of car accidents throughout the month of March.
The decal, which features images of a pair of lips with extended tongues bookending the slogan PLEASE DRINK AND DIVE, is being targeted as a prime example of distracted driving that’s propelled collisions across the city sky-high.
Others believe that more illiterate drivers will take the slogan as an encouragement to consume copious amounts of alcohol before getting behind the wheel.
“This obviously sends the wrong message to drivers,” says one safety council official, who wants the stickers banned.
That manoeuvre doesn’t sit well with the Lesbians Into Carnal Kicks Society (KICKS) which organized the campaign to encourage prowling dykes to put their money where their tongues are.
“This negative reaction is an infringement against the LGBTQ’s rights to self-expression,” said one anti-Y chromosome advocate. “It’s also an example of this patriarchial society wanting to go down on us in the worst possible way.”
“Nobody’s going down on anyone,” cautioned another official. “Wait, that didn’t come out right…”