Rural Albertans are finding a new way to amuse themselves in the midst of a slumping economy and squalor at the hands of the provincial NDP government’s carbon tax, thanks to an ingenious new game invented by an IT dude who services computers for the Wildrose party.
It’s called the Whack-A-Notley, modeled after the Whack-A-Mole games frequently seen at carnivals and summer exhibitions. The video game, first unveiled at the beginning of April at Sluggo’s Bar in Eckville, enables patrons to use a digital mallet and pound the daylights out of a virtual likeness of Rachel Notley every time she pops up through a pixelated hole in the ground.
“It’s good, clean fun,” said bar manager Archie Stomper, adding that folks line up outside the bar to take a shot at their vilified premier. “There are so many people miffed at how the government has marginalized the severely normal Albertan. And we all know that the basic, severely normal Alberta instinct is to smash the hell out of her skull.”
The game costs a loonie with proceeds going towards building up a war chest to subsidize the Unite the Right movement should PC leader Jason Kenney make good on amalgamating Alberta’s two right-leaning parties.
NDP brass and feminists are horrified at the growing popularity of the game, which is now being licensed in several small-town bars in southern Alberta and will soon be available online. “It’s horrifying, misogynistic, and must be banned immediately!” said one NDP flack. “The game is yet another escalation of hate speech and hate crimes that have tainted our progressive culture!”
Others point out that the game reflects the sadistic inclinations of participants at an oil industry golf tournament in 2016 in Brooks, where a cardboard likeness of Notley was placed on the fairway for duffers to hit. But Stomper says that the video game is just a harmless way for angry Albertans to blow off some steam.
“I mean, come on, it’s just a game!” he said. “If this was the real thing, do you think I’d enjoy mopping up the blood in the bar after all is said and done?”