A University of Alberta study has revealed that social media is destroying the capacity of the typical millennial to engage in critical thinking, problem solving or even creating coherent sentences. The post-secondary institution didn’t have to go far to research the issue, as there’s more than enough evidence in its backyard to support the findings.

Professors volunteered a number of assignments and examinations for the research group to study. What they discovered was shocking.

  • A majority of students in one calculus exam used emojis instead of mathematic symbols in their computations.
  • A book report assignment in one Shakespeare class resulted in single-sheet submissions with student responses no longer than 160 characters.
  • Students in an industrial design class that assigned a project with heavy reliance on photography submitted their work with images consisting entirely of selfies.

Academics are at wit’s end on how to change the thought patterns of millennials attending the university. But most millennials interviewed for this story shared a remarkably self-absorbed sentiment.

“We don’t care about any of that stuff, since it’s all about us anyway,” said one respondent. “It doesn’t matter if older folks think we’re dumber than a sack of hammers. When the boomers and Gen-X folks die off, who’s gonna stop us?”