Scientists have calculated that a meteor the size of Rogers Place, currently on a head-on collision course with Earth, will strike Edmonton some time in 2019, roughly the same time as the next provincial election.

Because of playoff frenzy involving the Edmonton Oilers, no one of any distinction from the city was available for comment. However, Tory leader and unite-the-right proponent Jason Kenney was quick to offer his two-cents worth.

“If Ralph Klein were still alive, he would have loved the news!” exclaimed Kenney, forgetting for a moment that the meteor could wipe out the lives of those residing in western Canada. “Finally, one way to get rid of those socialists in Edmonton!”