The most recent playoff run of the Edmonton Oilers and the effect it has on the city’s obsessed fan base may result in lower IQs. Those are the results of a psychology study conducted at the University of Alberta.

The study surveyed 100 Oilers fans with a basic multiple-choice, general-interest quiz and produced some disturbing results.

  • A number of fans filled in every box of all the questions in the answer key with a poorly-drawn Oilers logo.
  • Several fans scribbled in an extra answer to each question, adding “Connor McDavid,” “Ryan Nugent-Hopkins,” or other team members, then creating extra boxes on the answer key and checkmarking the bogus selections for each question. Also notable was that every player name was spelled incorrectly.
  • A few didn’t even bother answering the quiz, preferring to scrawl in large bold letters “FLAMES SUCK.”

Psychologists said they weren’t at all baffled over the results.

“None of this is a surprise to us,” said one academic. “When you live vicariously through the fortunes of your favourite local sports team, you tend to delude yourself into believing that team will do all the thinking for you. In other words, you’re putting yourself in a brain-dead state with hopes that things beyond your control will take charge of your life.”

Fans who took part in the survey were understandably furious over the assessments.

“Them stupid eggheads!” said one fan. “Let’s see how them smarty-pants dudes do when I punch their heads out in the parking lot!”