Edmonton City Councilor Mike Nickel has had it up to his keister with Victoria Day, which falls on the calendar this Sunday as part of the forthcoming long weekend.

“I see no reason why Edmonton should pay tribute to a city on the west coast that has nothing but lawn bowlers and hipsters who wound up going off-course looking for Vancouver,” Nickel said, hoping to put his idea into a motion for the next meeting.

“As far as I’m concerned, we should declare this coming Sunday as Edmonton Day. And the rest of the cities in Canada should do the same to commemorate their own municipalities.”

In a related story, University Hospital has reported that its emergency ward was occupied by Mayor Don Iveson and 11 other city councilors suffering from concussions after banging their heads repeatedly on the desks after hearing about Nickel’s idea.