Alberta’s two right-wing parties created a plan on Thursday to unite in time to turf Premier Rachel Notley’s ruling NDP party from power once citizens head to the polls in 2019.

Members of the affected Progressive Conservatives and Wildrose parties still have to vote on the plan by Oct. 28, when a new leader of the proposed United Conservatives is finally chosen.

However, the Dirt has uncovered a series of issues upon which both parties still don’t see eye-to-eye, and may pose as obstacles once members decide on the fate of the unite-the-right movement. Here’s a few:

ENERGY

  • PCs: Eliminate carbon tax and reassess royalty agreement
  • Wildrose: Bring back the hookers to Fort McMurray

CAUCUS DIVERSITY

  • PCs: Only if we’re able to pronounce their names
  • Wildrose: Dealbreaker among our KKK members

GAY RIGHTS

  • PCs: Quash all legislation favouring LGBTQ population
  • Wildrose: Bring back homo hazing!

HEALTHCARE

  • PCs: Introduce two-tiered system
  • Wildrose: Just give the poor some band-aids, cheap whiskey and a stick to bite on

EDUCATION

  • PCs: Shift funding from public to private schools
  • Wildrose: Hoam skool evrybuddy

FATE OF RACHEL NOTLEY ONCE DEFEATED

  • PCs: Lock her up.
  • Wildrose: Have her shot.

 

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