It’s already been a few days since the CFL season officially ended, but the Edmonton Eskimos are still being criticized over keeping its controversial moniker. And the team is concerned they’re running out of options over what to call themselves.
“We’ve tried everything, but no matter what name we choose, some dumbass social justice warrior out there claims we’re being racist,” said one football team insider. “In focus groups, we fielded such monikers as The Edmonton Japs, The Edmonton Dagos, The Edmonton Micks, the Edmonton Polacks and even the Edmonton Bohunks. There wasn’t anything we came up with that didn’t piss someone off!”
The most popular choice among team staff so far is the Edmonton All-Whites.
“We think of it as a tribute to a dynasty, like the rugby team the New Zealand All-Blacks, and since we play a few games in the snow, it makes perfect sense,” said another team insider. “Besides, there aren’t any ethnic slurs you could make against white folks, right?”
So far, rumours of the new name are sparking responses not only across Canada, but even in the U.S.
“I like it!” reportedly exclaimed U.S.-based white supremacist David Duke, who once led the Ku Klux Klan.”Now if only the team roster can reflect that name!”
Responses from Black Lives Matter were far too explicit for the Dirtbag to publish.